Withdrawal

The honeymoon period is officially over.  The glow of mindful consumption has faded as Christmas displays have inspired waves of desire followed immediately be the shakes when I realize that no, I cannot buy those adorable penguin decorations.  Slight waves of nausea hit when I think about how I’m going to get through Christmas this year, especially considering how much I love shopping for the perfect gift for every person on my list.  The full realization of what I’ve committed myself to has finally set in, and I’m starting to doubt whether or not I can actually do this.

I had actually fooled myself into thinking this was going to be easy.  After all, I practically sailed through the first month of this challenge.  I’ve enjoyed finding local resources and challenging my creativity.  Add in the fact that I have basically everything I need, and it’s largely been simple.  I was giving myself a nice little mental pat on the back when I saw my first Christmas commercial of the season.  That’s when the withdrawal started.  Over the past week I’ve found myself trying to mentally justify things in the style of Becky Bloomwood.  It’s been little things so far: a book I know would make an excellent gift for someone but that I’ll never find second-hand, holiday decorations that would make a grinch’s heart grow, etc.  I haven’t broken down yet, but I have started refusing to be around retail of any kind.  In the past week alone I have unsubscribed from 15 different email lists (including Coach, which broke my heart a little).  I haven’t even opened this month’s Vogue for fear of how I’ll react to what I’m sure will be stunning winter fashion.  I need to create a solid “surviving the holidays” plan, and until then I cannot be around anything relating to holiday shopping.  Or holiday decorations.  Or winter fashion.  Or…you understand where this is going.

Right now I can’t help but wonder, what was I thinking?

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